© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi

Is BDSM Normal?


I was asked by a reader "if BDSM was Normal or not".


Well, that depends on what your definition of '#Normal' is. Normal is defined as conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not #abnormal; #regular. Normality is an idealistic state of living, of existing. Since normality varies from person to person, culture to culture, and decade to decade, any recognized standard will always be whatever practices and lifestyles the current Mainstream society decides amongst the confirmed members of each class, to be 'Normal'. You have to think, one person's morality is different from another, so that would make what you consider normal different from me or even your neighbor's version of normal.


If we view #BDSM from the view point of the current world's population, then no it is not considered normal. Think about the sexual practices in the BDSM #Lifestyle (Bondage, S&M, Poly, Swinging, etc...). Main stream culture usually follows some type of religious teachings (Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Buddist, etc...) that teach sex is only supposed to be used for procreation. They frown on anything outside their strict religious codes. They consider bondage or flogging abuse. But, people that practice these and other forms of #sexual #torture within the confines of the BDSM lifestyle, get heightened pleasure and love the bite of the whip on their back or the pinch of clamps on their nipples. Is it normal? For some yes, for others, no. Again, it depends on your perception of Normality.


 Main stream western culture would also consider any type #submission (in males or females) weird, or not normal, because most of the population now consider males and females equal in most settings. They ask why would one person want to give over any freedoms, allow anyone else to make any decisions for them, or submit to another person's will. They don't understand the sense of security, need of serving, and feelings of yearning to be dominated and/or owned by another individual. I don't mean in a creepy, stalker, or 1800's kind of way. For most submissives or slaves in the Lifestyle, they will tell you that they find more freedom and happiness in being owned, being given rules and regulations, having to follow certain standards and guidelines, than they do in typical or 'vanilla' relationships.


I consider a BDSM Lifestyle normal, because I chose to practice this type of Lifestyle as a 24/7 consensual #slave. Whether my #Padrone (Master) is with me or not, I always follow his guidelines and #rules. I gain extreme satisfaction and peace of mind and spirit by the rules and #guidelines he has set for me. I have a very deep sense of love and protection all the time and that gives me a happiness that is almost indescribable.


So, is BDSM normal? Yes and No. Since normality is relative, you have to decide.