I am sure that if you are following me or reading this post, that you have heard about the Collar. I get many questions asking What is a collar?
First, I have to say that the collar is not a fashion statement. If you really believe and want to live, what I consider, a true BDSM #Lifestyle, you have to understand the meaning of a collar. Many people on the internet will give a virtual collar to anyone and then a week later, you will see they are not together anymore. In my opinion, this is not a true collaring, it's more along the lines of 'it sounds cool so let's do it'.
What is a Collar?
A collar is a device of any material placed around the neck of the #submissive to signify many things. The main significance is that the sub wearing it is either taken or #owned by a particular #Dominant.
A Little History
Collars in historical times were put on slaves as to identify who owned them. To collar someone at the neck meant that you hold that person in ultimate control. Today's purpose in the BDSM lifestyle community collars carry many different meanings depending on the individual, but generally speaking the significance of the collar is the same - a person has control over another. One very important distinction from our historical counterpart rests in the consensual nature of the #collar.
Collars were used as part of metal restraints in ancient times. However, iron collars were also used by the Romans to identify #slaves and even give instructions for their return. It is likely that these historical precedents led to the association of slavery with collars in subcultures like Old Guard leather and in #BDSM fiction, such as the Story of O and the Gor series.
Gay leathermen traditionally used a padlocked chain to collar their slaves.
A tradition developed in some leather bars in the 1980s of wearing a collar with an open padlock to indicate that one was seeking a partner, and a closed padlock to indicate that one was in a relationship. This symbolism became less common in the 1990s as even in gay leather bars, many men began wearing collars for reasons of fashion rather than to indicate a relationship (or desire for a relationship). Also, many older #leathermen were quite offended when younger men began flagging with unlocked collars. Traditionally, the top owned the collar and locked it on his slave. Slaves or potential slaves did not collar themselves.
Types of Collars and When You Get One
Typically, a Dominant will pick the collar out for her submissive. She may involve him in the process, but normally the decision is all hers. A physical collar may be a simple chain with a padlock, a dog collar bought at the local pet store, or even a piece of costume #jewelry bought at the mall. Depending on the relationship, and their needs, a collar may #lock, but it is almost equally likely that it will not.
The first collar is called a collar of consideration and indicates that a submissive is being considered for training by a new dominant.
The final collar is the one placed around the submissive's neck when the dominant claims that submissive permanently If it is a long term relationship, this collar would normally be lockable and made from some really durable material or metal that looks like jewelry.
There are also collars known as play collars. This collar is placed around the neck of the submissive when the dominant wants to play and protect the submissive during a scene.
In its material form, it may take many shapes.
It may be a simple leather dog collar, chain, steel, a necklace, a ring, a bracelet, an anklet, or some other body decoration. It can take the physical form of a brand, a tattoo, or body piercings. Most collars seem to be designed to feel strong and secure in the relationship negotiated or formed.
The ceremony may be intimate, just between the Master and slave involved, or it may be a large event with friends and family invited. If they are in an online only relationship, it may be a simple phone call, or online chat where descriptive chat is typed out. In any event, no matter where the event is held, or who attends, it should be seen as a somber event with bit of significance in our lifestyle, as a wedding is in the vanilla world.
So remember, a collar is not a fashion statement. It is a symbol of a type of deep commitment you have with your Dominant. It reminds you of the set of rules, guidelines and values you must live by while you have it on. It is a precious thing and should not be entered into lightly.