BBW in BDSM


Being a #BBW, that's the acronym for Big Beautiful Woman for those who don't know, and kinky can be challenging in a multitude of ways.


One of the ways in which it isn't challenging is in finding play partners that are attracted to full figured women.


It is a myth that attractive, educated, intelligent, witty men are only attracted to women that resemble prepubescent boys wearing short skirts and sporting a set of inflatable boobs. Think I'm just assuaging a j#ealousy I won't admit to? Do a Google search for "BBW porn". I did, just to have statistical information to support my claim - and you'll get a listing of roughly 25,600,000 sites to chose from. Honestly, if there wasn't a demand for it, would there be so many sites dedicated to offering and charging for access to it? And that is just one search phrase on one search engine.


In my experience I have seen thin women ask in astonishment, "how did she get him?" when seeing a BBW being escorted by an attractive and buff male. It's annoying. The insinuation is like saying that attractive men are not from the same species as #plus #sized women, as if we have to perform some black magic trick or drug them into finding us desirable.


Keep this in mind when you are thinking about your #submission.

  • If do not carry yourself with pride, you are not showing the world and your #Dominant how proud you are to be a submissive.

  • If you are self-conscious during a scene or playtime, you are not being submitting to your Dominant because you should not care what you look like, but only pleasing and obeying. 

  • If you are always worrying about being graceful or looking silly when in some submissive position your Dominant puts you in, your mind is not in submissive mode, but elsewhere. 

Your goal is to please your Dominant, no matter the situation, so you have to let go of all of the negative body images you think about yourself and say, 'you know I like what I see because it's all me!'


Don't let a negative body image distract you, take away your pleasure, or ruin your submission.

  1. Appreciate all that your body can do.  Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams.  Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you — running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.

  2. Keep a top-ten list of things you like about yourself — things that aren’t related to how much you weight or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about yourself.

  3. Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin deep.  When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel.  Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.

  4. Look at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want others to see you – as a whole person.

  5. Avoid looking at fashion magazines or catalogs that endorse emaciated women as the beauty ideal.

  6. Throw the scale away!!!

  7. Never forget You ARE Good enough!

Start today so you can become not only a better submissive, but a more confident person.

© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi