BDSM GOALS 2019: New Year, Improved Me


Now that the holiday season is over and we are officially getting back to normal and down to business, I wanted to open this year with a new BDSM related post. Let’s talk resolutions and mottos for 2019. I personally have two that I will be trying to live by this year. One is for my continued fitness journey (of which I will be revealing in my 1 year update on the 10th) and the second one is for life in general.


If you are on social media, you have probably read all these memes about ‘New Year, New You’. Why would you want to have a completely new you? That phrase to me implies that you are not happy with anything in your life or yourself. I imagine that is not the case. So, instead, why not use the motto I’m adopting: New Year, Improved Me.


How does that work in a BDSM Lifestyle related way? It simply means to explore new paths that you have not taken before. Try to learn new things that are submissive or Dominant specific. Now you are wondering just how you would do that.


For submissives, learn new kneeling or standing poses. If you are unowned or not in a dynamic, you can read books and websites to broaden your horizons and help expand your own definition of BDSM. Think about making a resume to highlight your experience, knowledge and skills as a submissive. Go back through your Limits list and think about revising it so that you may experience new things with a new partner. Use this year of learning as a self exploration and expansion of your own Limits. The possibilities are limitless.


For single Dominants, if you are not solid in your life, meaning with money, housing, emotions, etc, how can you lead a submissive? Before embarking on finding a new relationship, ensure that your own life is settled. Why not add or improve your skills with various toys? If you don’t have any toys, it may be a good time to start adding floggers and whips to your toy box. If you are not into using any sort of implements, turn to the web and books to improve your own knowledge of diverse ways to practice BDSM. There is always room for improvement.


If those of you are in a dynamic, why not take a second look at your contract and see if there is room for change or improvement? Life is constantly changing and contracts should be revised as needed to fit the current life situations.


If you don’t have a contract, why not make one? You and your partner can sit down and write down all of your verbally agreed rules, protocols, and arrangements so that everyone is on the same page. This will help you see where you are and if you need to change or add anything that will benefit you both.


Has your dynamic become vanilla or slacked off because life has gotten in the way? Take this opportunity to put the D/s or M/s back into your lives. Take a look at your situation and insert a dynamic where you can. Don’t be afraid to use technology to help you, especially if you are a busy family.


There are so many ways that we can learn and grow ourselves and our lives in the Lifestyle. We never stop learning.


Thank you for your support during the past years and look for many great BDSM related articles coming this year.


Have a happy and healthy 2019!




© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi