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Writer's pictureMichelle Fegatofi

BDSM New Year's Resolutions


With the New Year now come and gone, many of you will be asking "What now?" I imagine that you have made New Year's resolutions about time, family and losing weight.


But, what about your BDSM life? Are you where you want to be? Do you want to grow more? Do you have a partner already or are you looking for one? Here is a list of things I think should be looked at and worked on continuously, throughout the year. I see no better time than to review them with yourself or with your partner so you can both take away something from them or add your own additional things. Please feel free to share or comment at the end if you like.


Dominants

  1. Renew your commitment to keeping up your knowledge and skills in your chosen practice of BDSM. Never get complacent, for you may start to take your sub for granted and that is not good. 

  2. Review the rules you have in place already and see if any need adjusting or if new ones need to be added. Situations and relationships evolve over time and so should your rules/guidelines/protocols.

  3. If you do not do this already, set aside 1 hour per week so that your slave/sub can have a free speech with no penalties session with you. Let this be a time where she/he talks about all of frustrations of the week to you and you listen as a friend or lover, not as her Dominant. You can also use this time to discuss things that you may not like or want to change with them also. 

  4. Research a new skill (flogging, spanking techniques, toys) that you have really wanted to learn and learn it. Implement and practice on your #sub and enjoy. This always keeps the relationship fresh.

  5. Renew your #vow to your sub by telling them how much you love, appreciate and are honored by their submission to you. Make sure they know you will continue to protect and care for them. It doesn't have to be in an elaborate setting, just whispered, heartfelt words while in bed or a more formal position, whatever you prefer. 

Submissives

  1. Renew your vow to serve, honor, and #obey your Dominant. This is a sacred vow, not only to your Dominant, but to yourself.

  2. Memorize and practice new #protocols/guidelines/rules and review and practice old ones. Be as graceful a submissive as you can. 

  3. Review your service to your Dominant and see where improvements can be made. Make sure you anticipate every need your #Dominant has if you are a live in sub/slave and try to serve Him/Her in whatever need before, they have to ask. 

  4. Don't be so hard on yourself if you fail to be the 'perfect' sub or slave. There is no such thing. Do your best, #serve the best you can, and as long as it is your passion to do so, you will fail.

  5. Remember to be proud of yourself for who you are. Never be ashamed to be a sub/slave. When you #submit, do it with pleasure, happiness and fro the all consuming need from within. 

Most of all, be happy. Take the values, rules, and lifestyle of BDSM and shape them to your own needs/likes/wants. Remember there is no fast and steady rule of right and wrong as long as everyone is happy in the #relationship. If you believe there is, then you really need to re-evaluate your decision to practice #BDSM.


My Padrone and I both wish all of you health, peace, happiness and love for this year and remember my email is always open if you ever have a question or comment.


Best Wishes and Happy New Year!

Marco and Michelle Fegatofi

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