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Help! I'm Surrounded by Vanilla!

Everyday, we go through our daily lives in the vanilla world.

When we go to work, take the kids to school, go shopping, visit friends, or just go about our routines, we are surrounded by normal or "#vanilla" people. We all maintain some level of "normal/vanilla" so we don't draw undue attention to ourselves or our lifestyle.

The majority of people following #BDSM blogs or sites are entirely vanilla except for the brief moments in time when they are online or in the bedroom and get to explore the BDSM side of their personality. Now, there are many people and couples like myself that live the #lifestyle 24/7, but the majority do not.

So, if you want to incorporate more of the Lifestyle into your daily life, without upsetting your vanilla world too much, how would you do that? The following tips can be used in cyber or real life relationships.


  • Have your #submissive use text messaging or email to check-in with you certain times of the day to let you know where they are.

  • Give your submissive specific #orders of what to wear (color of panties each day; heels or flat shoes; dress or pants, etc...)

  • Give your submissive a token of her position to wear as a reminder (#collar, bracelet, ring)

  • Give her orders of what color to paint her nails each week

  • Give her reasonable tasks to follow each day 


  • Keep a photo record of the places you go or tasks you accomplish during the day and send them to your #Dominant.

  • Use a GPS tracking software on your cell phone to allow your Dominant to see your whereabouts anytime they want to. 

  • Send a text message when you arrive and when you leave a new location

  • Write an email of what your daily schedule for that day and send it to your Dominant either the night before or first thing in the morning

These are but a few of the rules you can incorporate into your #relationship to help you feel more submissive or Dominant in a vanilla world. 

If you have any other suggestions, please comment below. We love hearing from you!

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