© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi

Submissive Rivalry and Egos

Updated: Mar 21, 2019


We all have had these types of people around us in our vanilla lives.


People that are always trying to show everyone around them that their lives are better because they have more expensive stuff, their house is bigger, or they are smarter because they have certain types of educational degrees.


Unfortunately, BDSM isn't any different. Over the years, I have seen both #Dominants and submissives buy toys, clothes, and collars all in an attempt to show off. With the influx of people exploring the #Lifestyle, this phenomenon has advanced at an epic rate. This is especially prevalent online. Think about your news feeds on the various social media sites you frequent. How much of it is filled with people showing something they bought, a status of what their Dom told them to do and how perfectly they followed it?


Now, here's where you're wondering to yourself, "what's the point of this post?" The point is simple. People do not like a show off, someone that is always trying to 'one up' everybody else. How many times have you been in a group and someone posted something that did nothing to contribute to the overall theme in the group? I have seen it way too much.


If, you are one of these types of people, please rethink the types of things you post. For one, many people in the #BDSMcommunity will not take you seriously. Second, most people don't like to be around or interact with show offs. And third, if you say you are a submissive, yet you continuously show off in the above mentioned manner, you are not a real submissive.


A #true #submissive is humble. They do not flaunt their accomplishments and material possessions continuously. A true submissive is confident enough in his/her self and has no need to virtually yell to the world 'Look At Me!'. A true submissive does not share every detail of their relationship or minute details of their daily tasks and brag how they excelled in completing them.


Just to clarify, I am not talking about sharing significant life events, like #collarings or anniversaries, nor am I referring to people that post things every once in a while that they want to share because it's a special occasion. I am speaking to and about those that spam or bombard the news feeds constantly with how perfect they and their lives are.


I have been bombarded with too many 'look at me' and 'I'm the best submissive' posts in my news feeds, groups, and emails this week. I hope this post makes you all take a second look at your own behavior online and in real life. If you think this post is directed at you specifically, then you might just need to think about making changes and reevaluate your life.