Right now, the majority of people around the world are in some sort lockdown or self isolation because of #Covid19. For many people, it may be a welcome break from their normal #routine, but for others it’s torture. Padrone and I have been on lockdown since 5 March, before the national declaration that came 8 March. As of today, that is 31 days that we have literally been #sequestered in our apartment, with only 3 one-hour or less trips out for groceries and medicine.
For those of you that may not know, Padrone and I have a 24-7 M/s dynamic. We’ve been in a #BDSM relationship for 10 years, living together 9 years, and married since 20 February 2020. Padrone works as the overnight manager at a small hotel and the owners allowed me to go with him whenever I wanted. Since 2013, I have been with him literally 24 hours per day/7 days a week/365 days a year. There were times when I would stay home for various reasons when he went to work, but mostly, I was with him.
Now, since the virus outbreak, #Padrone has been on paid furlough and has been home with me. With the unexpected time off, our routine is completely different and we basically don’t have one now. Before, my nights consisted of:
• wake up at 7 or 7:30 pm and have an espresso
• take care of the dogs
• Cook/pack food for the night
• lay out Padrone’s clothes
• get myself ready and dressed
• make espresso for Padrone and wake him up around 8:30
• pack up all my stuff I needed for the night
• help Padrone get dressed
• run out the door at 9:20 to be at work at 9:30 (it was a 3 mins drive)
We had very predictable pattern in the mornings also when we came home. Now, however, everything is different because we aren’t going anywhere and we have no outside obligations to meet. Our sleep patterns are erratic and change constantly from day to day. The uncertainty of what’s to come in the next few months, fear that one of us could get sick just by going grocery #shopping, as well as not knowing the status of future #employment are all #contributing factors that have us both worried. But, as a couple, we have actually grown even closer.
We have a very relaxed relationship/#dynamic compared to more traditional M/s roles. I don’t #kneel. I look Padrone in the eyes. I always make suggestions as to what he should eat to ensure his blood sugar and high blood pressure stay balanced. Of course, these are done out of love and knowledge, not as a form of #topping from the #bottom or #bratty behavior. While I do prepare most of our meals, Padrone will get himself a snack or even cook if he’s craving a particular food that I don’t like to smell or prepare.
Padrone always takes care of me too. He asks if I want something from the kitchen if he’s going there. He’ll make coffee and bring me one without asking. He checks on me whenever I’m in a different room for longer than 30 minutes. So, even though we do consider our relationship a #Master/#slave dynamic, we have adapted it over the years to fit our situation.
Now, how has the quarantine/lockdown/self-isolation changed our routine? I still make most of our meals. I still do the majority of the cleaning in the house. I helped Padrone dress those 3 times we had to go out. I still ask his #permission before I do certain things. Mostly, not a whole lot has changed. We talk, cuddle, joke, and make plans for the future. We watch more tv together. We have definitely slept a lot more.
I can say that I have been completely lax and #unmotivated to stay on track with my exercise routine. Fortunately, I haven’t gained any weight. While I have had an entire month in which I should have been writing #nonstop to finish the new book I’m working on, I haven’t been able to stay focused long enough. I’m realizing that I do much better with a somewhat predictable schedule than not. I’m going to work with Padrone to set up a #schedule for me that will set daily goals and motivate me to stay on track for exercise/work/chores etc.
I have taken a lot of time to read and research different internet blogs and books for topics I’m considering writing about in the future. I’m not ashamed to admit I was #scared, #anxious and somewhat #depressed because of the chaos coronavirus brought to us in Italy, but also around the world. But now a month has passed, I feel like I have a path I understand and I’m going to follow.
On a side note, Facebook has taken away the ability to post on all of my pages except one named Michelle Fegatofi Lifestyle and a new one named Words of Darkness. If you’re on FB, please take a moment to like, follow, and share one or both of my pages. Thank you!