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Q&A Topics - Submissive Missing Dominant, Online/Long Distance Submission, and New D/s Couple

This week's Talk Tuesday topics include, "Submissive Missing Dominant", "Online/Long Distance Submission", and "New D/s Couple".

Question #1) "My #Dominant is always on the road and I miss him a lot. I get depressed even though he tries to call me when he stops for a break. Is this normal? Do you have any suggestions for me to help me stay out of this funk and to feel better?"

#Long #distance #relationships can be hard, especially on a D/s couple. You want that feeling of service, that closeness and satisfaction of just being with your dominant. Although nothing can replace the feeling of your dominant being there in person with you, there are some things that I can suggest to you in order to help you feel better. 

  • When you are in one of the really low times, put on one of his shirts and snuggle with his pillow. Ask him to buy you a special stuffed animal and snuggle with it. 

  • Keep his pictures on all of your electronic devices so you can see him anytime you wish. 

  • If you are in a mood to talk to him, but know he can't talk to you right then, send him an email or text message anyway. You might send him multiple messages before he is able to respond, but this way, it's kind of like talking to him. You are #communicating to him. 

  • Ask him to make a weekly task list that has something specific for you to do for him each day. When you complete the task, take pictures and send it to him. The tasks can range from cooking special dishes, dressing up in certain clothes, writing, or reading about a specific subject.

Question #2) "I am in an online relationship with a dominant that lives halfway around the world. Because of the time differences and our real life situations, I don't get to stay in touch with him as much as I would like. Many times I don't even feel like I'm a real submissive because of this. I love my Dom but I need to feel more #submissive and closer to him. I need more contact with him. Any advice?"

There are many ways you can closer to your dominant using technology. With all of the different cell phone and tablet applications available, there are a wide variety, and often free, number of ways to feel closer to your dominant and at the same time feel more submissive. 

If you love the feelings you get when you are on a leash connected physically to your Dominant, use your phone as a way for your dominant to know where you are at all times. Perform 'check ins' on Google + or Facebook. This way, he can track you wherever you may be, even if he is half way around the world. If you do not wear a #collar at all times, outside the house especially, ask your Dominant to pick one for you that is acceptable to be seen in public places and could be mistaken as a piece of jewelry. The weight on your neck will make you feel connected and remind you of who owns you always, no matter where you may be. 

These are only a couple of ways that technology can help you. If you read and research different apps on the internet, I am sure you find more ways. 

Question #3) "My boyfriend wants to start exploring a Dominant - submissive relationship. Neither one of us has any experience except for what little we have read online. We don't want to get into the hard sex stuff yet and are more interested in the softer side of things. Can you give us a starting point? All advice will be greatly appreciated."

There are many things that go into the making of a strong D/s relationship. First, you have to know exactly what you are getting into. To do this, you need to read as much about the different ways to practice a #BDSM #lifestyle as you can. Gain a basic knowledge of the different roles and responsibilities. As you have no doubt seen in your limited searches, there are an infinite number of ways one can practice D/s. Find, read, understand and fill out a Limits worksheet. This will give you both an idea of what you want to do, not do, and might want to explore at a later date. Next, find a basic D/s contract that you can fill in. This usually lists out what each of you expect from the other such as rules, protocols, rituals, punishments, and other relevant information included in the relationship.

Always remember the foundations of all BDSM relationships are: Open, Two way communication; Honesty, and Trust. This means never lying to each other no matter the subject. Never holding back any feelings whether good or bad. And never giving the other person a reason not to trust you. 

I hope you enjoyed this week's Talk Tuesday topics. If you have any comments or additions you would like to add, please feel free to leave a comment.

If you have any questions you would like advice on, send an email to

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