Self Care in a BDSM Dynamic

Updated: May 11



Self care is the responsibility of an individual in regard to #health management, without the aid of a medical professional. In health care, self-care is any human regulatory practice which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated, for the purpose of maintaining life, health and well-being.


As a submissive, especially one in a 24/7 #master/#slave dynamic, I always naturally put the needs of my Padrone above my own. Over the past year, I have had to learn to take care of myself mentally and emotionally as well as better physically, before I can meet all the needs of my #Padrone.


I have written many post about my battle with epilepsy, as well as the last post where I revealed how bad I was the entire year of 2020. In January, I unexpectedly ended up in the hospital for 9 days/10 nights, with a very bad infection, inflammation, and giant kidney stone. My first surgery was unsuccessful in correcting the problem because of how bad the infection and inflammation was.


After two months of extremely strong antibiotics and multiple tests, I had a successful surgery on 26 March. I thought I was finished but apparently the damage done was a little bit more extensive than the doctor knew, so he put in a new stent. In 2 to 4 weeks, I will go in and have this stent removed and hopefully then I will be over and done and able to move on in my normal daily activities.


Mentally and #emotionally, I’ve had to learn to accept that I needed to get help with my epilepsy, because it was wreaking havoc on my life and not allowing me to be #mentally present and available as I should have been. I’ve undergone many tests and I’m on a new anti-seizure medication, which is currently helping a lot and I’m feeling better than I have in the past year and a half.


Why am I revealing all of this? Because I think many #submissive and dominants are ashamed, or unable to reveal that they are human and could possibly need a little extra help mentally, #physically, or emotionally, to help get their own lives back onto a happy and healthy path.


A #BDSM dynamic is a #consensual power exchange. We take care of each other a little more intensely than we do in a vanilla relationship. Submissives naturally want to take care of their Dominants’ needs, in every way, even if it’s to the detriment of their own health physically, mentally, or emotionally. Many #Dominants feel that, in order to take care of their submissives, they have to stay strong and silent about any problems that they are experiencing physically, mentally, or emotionally. But they actually have to help themselves to help their submissive.


#Selfcare does not necessarily have to involve professional doctors. Self-care can be something as simple as taking an hour or two a day to meditate in the morning, afternoon, or at night. It can be taking a hot bath where it’s just you by yourself so you can relax. Other types of self-care could be going to a spa, getting your hair done, or whatever it is or takes to make you feel happy and #healthy.


I urge you to look at yourself and your relationship or #dynamic, and give an honest outlook to see if you are taking care of yourself so you can be the best submissive or dominant for your partner that you can be. If we are unhealthy, that puts extra pressure on our #partner that shouldn’t be there. Obviously, I’m not talking about issues that we cannot control, but issues that we can try and get help with.


Do I still have bad days? Of course I do. Are there some times where I see myself slipping back into my old depressed habits of reading for 12 to 14 hours a day and not doing anything else? I do. But, I am very conscious of this and I have greatly reduced my time in reading and made a conscious effort to slowly build new routines that help me feel good about my life and how I’m living it. Getting my life back to a way that makes me happy, allows me to be the happy and healthy submissive and serve the needs of my Padrone.


If you have any suggestions or comments, feel free to leave them below.









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