Size Discrimination and Reverse Size Discrimination in BDSM


In the world of BDSM, we think of ourselves as being a high #tolerance community that keeps open minds without judging others.


I have found that to be true in most cases, with the exception to size. One thing that has stood out to me over the past couple of years is that size discrimination comes from both ends of the weight spectrum.


I have several pages on various social media sites. Over time, some of them started catering to different groups' wants. One page mostly portrayed thinner models in various BDSM situations. While the other page catered to larger women posing in different outfits and scenes. This is where it gets interesting.


On the page posting thinner pictures of women, I would get comments like "she needs a cheeseburger", "without curves, she should be a boy", and "real men like women with curves". After it happened more frequently, I have to say I was shocked! I always expected to get the occasional mean comment on my plus sized page, but never thought I would see so many on the "normal sized" page. I got to see first hand just how reverse size discrimination worked.


Now, on the plus sized page, it was just the opposite. We got comments such as "fat pig", "looks more like a hippo in a corset", "fat, ugly, porker" and some so vile I refuse to repeat them. I had expected this. I would delete and ban the offender. What I never expected was comments such as "she's not big enough to be a BBW" or "what makes her #plussize". Apparently some people didn't think the women were large enough. I was stunned when this first happened. I always posted a variety of different sized and shaped plus size women.


If you guys have followed me for any length of time, you should know that I don't tolerate any form of discrimination (gender, race, size, sexual orientation, etc..). A few days ago, I got a comment once again on the plus sized page asking me what made her plus sized. I answered that she was a well known size 14 model, which in the USA means plus sized. Shortly after, I received a heated response asking me to detail what sizes I thought the descriptions 'plus size', '#BBW', and '#SSBBW' consist of. Of course I didn't answer. That did spark a great question that I posed to my followers on various sites on the internet. Some very interesting comments and discussions ensued after.


Many people said that women should not be labeled at all. Some stated what they thought constituted a BBW and SSBBW. Some thought plus size, BBW, and SSBBW are three different tiers for describing larger women. I got a couple of angry comments stating that simply asking the question was very offensive.

I have known my entire life that I can't please everyone. I never have and never will. Here are my thoughts on the entire situation.


  • I believe people that have a wonderful personality and character are beautiful, no matter their outer shell.

  • I believe that every woman, despite size/shape/color/age can be an awesome, loved, and desirable submissive with the right Dominant.

  • I see nothing wrong or offensive with the terms plus size or BBW. To me, they are the same and can be used interchangeably to describe women that are on the larger side of what the general public deem as 'normal'.

  • I also thoroughly believe that size discrimination and segregation is completely wrong, in any shape or form. 

Therefore, after much discussion with my Padrone, I have decided to combine all of my pages into one that posts pictures of every size and shape, with absolutely no tolerance for negative comments.  Why? Because I need to 'practice what I preach'. 


The #BDSM #community is supposed to be a high tolerance, #openminded community. If I continue to run separate pages for different groups, I see it as a form of segregation, separate but equal. That is not what we should be promoting. I know many people will not lime it. Many of the old followers won't follow the new pages. But, I accept this. I hope that with time, new people will follow me and help promote the spirit of a united community


Thank you all for your continued support and I hope that my words have either helped sway your opinion, or at the very least, opened your mind to a different way of thinking.  

© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi