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Spotting a Catfish in the Lifestyle

If you’ve been on the internet for any about of time, you have probably heard the term ‘Catfishing”. This term was coined in 2012 and describes people who create #fake #internet #profiles for the purpose of deceiving others out of money, property, or just to create drama. 

Now, while several people may have a fake #SocialMedia account, that doesn’t automatically mean they are catfishing. In the online community of #BDSM, especially since the rise and popularization of the #Lifestyle by the 50 Shades Trilogy, many people are joining just to try and take advantage of unsuspecting and unknowledgeable newbies. I have had many messages asking me to address this specifically. Here are my tips in spotting fake accounts that are probably #catfishing.

If you are new to the Lifestyle, please read as much as you can from many different online resources so you can gain a broad knowledge base. This is the first step that will help protect yourself from fake dominants or submissives. 

If you accept friend requests from all strangers, don’t give them any personal information. Start a general conversation with them, just as you would any vanilla friend. If the person immediately makes demands of submission or wants to be called by a specific title, you should unfriend and block them immediately. No real practitioner of BDSM will act this way, online or in real life, especially with a new contact.

Many men have sent me messages asking if it is normal to have to pay a ‘tribute’ to an online #Dominatrix before you even get to send them a message, let alone a friend request. Apparently, this is the practice of many young females online that are presenting themselves as Female Dominants or Dommes. In my opinion, they are frauds or sex workers. While there’s nothing wrong with being a sex worker, a genuine Lifestyle Dominatrix will never demand money or gifts before they even talk to you. This is just another way that people have found to monetized BDSM. If someone refuses to talk to you for free, block them and run! 

Let’s now move forward a little bit. Say that the #Dom or #sub you friended has so far passed all the initial scrutiny. You are wanting to try to move from a friendship to an online D/s or M/s relationship. Ask to exchange vanilla based pictures. After some more time passes, they should be ready to video chat. If they always have some excuse or reason they can’t, they are probably catfishing! Either they are not the person in the pictures you exchanged or they are hiding something in their real life. A person interested in pursuing a real relationship, even if it’s just online, will find the time and a way to video chat with you. 

These are just a few of the obvious things to be on the lookout for when getting involved with someone on the internet. I met my Padrone (Master) on Facebook 8 years ago and have been living with him for 7 years now. So, while it can be difficult to find and become serious with someone you met on a social media site, it is entirely possible! 

If you have any comments or suggestions, please leave them below!

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Hunter Taylor
Hunter Taylor
Jan 11, 2019

I love the article but disagree with the video chat thing. I don't like I don't like video chat at all. I'll talk to someone and agree to meet them but I won't do video chat.


I wish I would have read this months ago. There’s so many out there doing this.

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