The BDSM Lifestyle versus Society

Updated: May 19, 2019



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Over the past couple of weeks, my #Padrone and I have had some really deep and ongoing conversations about how people in different parts of the world live the BDSM lifestyle.


He has challenged me to write an in-depth, multi-part mini series on how different parts of the world view BDSM - East vs West; culture vs religion. I decided to first, post my own personal observations about those I have encountered over the years.


 The majority of people I have encountered are curious and comb the internet looking for pictures and information about different facets of the #Lifestyle. They are completely vanilla except online and in their fantasies. They mostly love the fantasy of a full time slave in chains or on their knees, or the reverse where a Dom is always getting a blow job or a Domme having her boot licked. 99% of the time, they never venture into any type of play in real life because either their partner would completely be against it or they are too scared to even approach someone about it because of society and their culture.


The next step in the evolution I normally come across are those that only play in the bedroom but don't get that deep into it, mostly experimenting with some type of bondage. These are people are completely vanilla, but have a pair of fake handcuffs or some type of velcro restraints in an attempt to spice up their sex life. Neither of them really have an interest in taking on a Dominant or submissive role and will take turns cuffing each other. They might jokingly share some of the playtime information with their close friends, but will not explore BDSM more. They probably do not even realize it could be part of the S&M scene.


Then you have those that actually have played and researched #BDSM and do play a defined role, but only in a scene. They don't live a 24/7 lifestyle, but they do love the #powerdynamic, along with other parts of BDSM they choose to practice. They might throw in #bondage, flogging, chains or #collars. But most of their friends and none of their family will know about their interest in the lifestyle.


Lastly, you have those that live or practice a version of BDSM in a 24/7 setting. I am talking about the people that have a defined role and are always in that position. The #sub/#slave will most likely wear a collar anywhere he/she goes, in or outside the house. The #Dominant is always in charge and his/her instructions are always followed no matter if the couple is working or together in the same room. They usually don't hide their lifestyle choice from anyone and their families know how they choose to live their lives. They don't care what society, family, culture or religion has to say because they do as they choose and feel that if you do not like the choice, then you are free to not be acquainted with them.


Now I have given you a broad spectrum of the people I have come across in my experience, I will write a little more in depth about this subject in the coming weeks. I hope the information helps you further along in your own journey. 

© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi