Warning Signs of a Fake Dominant


Many new people to the world of #BDSM don't have the #education and/or experience to tell the difference of what is considered 'normal' and what is #abuse in the BDSM Lifestyle.


Here is a list of things to look out for that are obvious #signs of an Abuser posing as a Dominant.

  • Controlling behavior due to fear of losing their partner.

  • Isolating the submissive from family and friends

  • Discouraging self sufficient behavior

  • Not allowing any social interaction which does not include the Dominant

  • Out of control jealousy

  • Explosive temper

  • Behaves like a spoiled child when not getting his/her way

  • Abuses drugs/alcohol

  • Does not take responsibility for mistakes

  • Uses unhealthy behavior to gain control over the submissive

  • Emotional Blackmail - example: Keeping the submissive in a constant state of fear that the relationship will end if they don't get their way.

  • Emotional Withdrawal - example: Using the "silent treatment" or physically withdrawing and cutting off all contact rather than communicating and taking responsibility for the situation.

  • Withdrawal of affection

  • Refusing any/all intimacy as a punishment which can be quite damaging and reinforces the fear that the submissive will lose the relationship unless he/she gives into this type of blackmail.


If your #Dominant shows any of these signs on a consistent basis, please seek advice or help from experienced Dominants or #subs to get an unbiased opinion of the situation.

© 2018 by Michelle Fegatofi