What Type of Submissive are You?
The following is an excerpt from my book Unveiled: The Secret Submissive Within:
There are many levels and versions of #submission.
One way to ensure a good #BDSM #relationship is to be up front in what you want during play time, personal service and sexual service. State what your desires and needs are and there will be a lot less mistakes. Dominants are not mind readers. Be clear on your limits. Some submissives only submit in sexual scenes and not in the rest of their lives, while others give over their entire life to a Dominant. Some subs only want to be servant subs with no sexual acts ever taking place.
The following list isn't intended as a rigid classification. Most submissives don't fall neatly into one category. There are still further shades in between. I have listed what I term as the most common types of submissives.
The Conceptual Submissive:
This #submissive is one that learns everything they know about submission from romance or erotica books and the internet. This submissive will normally only become an #online sub or slave and try to administer advice to others with no real experience or concept of what BDSM is. They usually live a vanilla life outside of the cyber world.
The Mental Submissive:
The #mental submissive begins his or her submission in their mind. This person is submissive in and out of the bedroom. They generally have a need to submit or surrender to a #Dominant. The act of submission is all mental but can also consist of physical. S/he can give as much or as little as they wish to or need to give. The surrendering is the #powerexchange. Once the surrender occurs, they can become an empty vessel for the Dominants to mold in whatever image they wish. Love is not required, as this is a mental submission.
The Romantic Submissive:
This type of submissive wishes to #surrender everything, without becoming a #slave. In comparison with the mental submissive, a romantic submissive craves the love of the Dominant they submit to. The act of submission is full of emotion and love. They give all they have for the return of #love and #trust from the Dominant they serve.
The Bedroom Submissive:
This type of submissive is Vanilla in every facet of their life or even Dominant, but when the bedroom door shuts, the roles drop and they submit to the Dominant. The bedroom is where the power exchange happens and stays. This submission is almost always sexual in nature. In the bedroom, the act of submission is complete. But, when the bedroom door is open, the bedroom submissive returns to the vanilla world or role.
This type of submissive is only interested in serving a Dominant. This submissive typically does not include sexual activities. They run errands, clean the home, run a Dominant's calendar or arrange meetings for the Dominant. This type of submissive satisfies their submissive needs by doing things for other people. This is a very special type of submissive.
The Sex Slave:
This submissive is in this Lifestyle for sex, with one person, many people, or in any way that can be imagined. This person rarely has any limits when it comes to sex and will allow a Dominant to use pain as a method of arousal and release, with little or no cautions. This submissive cannot imagine any punishment worse than being locked in a chastity device or not given permission to masturbate or have sexual release.
Unlike a submissive, a slave must surrender completely and be completely controlled by a Master. The slave must feel completely owned. They can become a different person when a Master trains them to serve Him/Her in whatever way they prefer. When Master is happy, the slave is happy. They feel most complete when with a Master. The slave beams when s/he brings Master pleasure.
The SAMs (Smart Ass Masochists):
These are 'Smart Ass Masochists'. They deliberately misbehave all the time so the Dominant will punish them. These types of subs are frowned upon in the BDSM community. Most people feel these subs are too weak to honestly ask for what they want. At times, they can provoke real anger without thinking how their behavior can affect the Dominant. The Dominant may then lose control and do actual harm to the #SAM. They feel great remorse in losing control and can lose confidence in their Dominant abilities.
The Attention Seeker:
These types of submissives are the ones that always do things to seek attention from other submissives and Dominants alike. They post status updates on web sites that try to make you feel sorry for them, post lots of pictures of themselves in various states of undress, not because they are proud of their bodies but from the need to receive good comments to make validate their efforts, and are generally very whiney. These kinds of submissives are mostly found in cyberspace and are generally frowned on by real life BDSM practitioners.
The UBER (Alpha) Submissive:
This person believes they are the ultimate, uber submissive. They think no one can come close to their knowledge, level of submissiveness, or training in protocol. They believe they are a step above all other subs and slaves. These people are generally not real submissives. They tend to read books and articles about the Lifestyle, may even submit to a Dom, but generally have no experience and don’t know what to do with book knowledge in real situations. They also do not have the need to submit internally and only want to do it for the experience.
Now, these are the different types of subs/slaves that I use to categorize. Don't forget that you may not fall into just one area, but several.
You also may not agree with my descriptions. But hopefully, this will give you a broader understanding of the different levels of submission and the many forms it can come in.