I have had a very good day today and a lot of much needed sleep, so decided to answer the following questions that people seem to ask the most.
What makes me want to be a #slave? Why would I choose the path I am on and the type of relationship I have? How could I, as a grown woman with a sound mind, allow a man to dictate rules to me and make all my decisions?
The answer is simple. It is who I am and what I live for. It makes me happy, content, and joyous when I am able to #serve Padrone in some way, large or small.
What makes me want to be a slave?
I have always put other people ahead of myself. I hate drama, fights, raised voices and arguments. My very nature is to be submissive to almost everyone else. I don't like direct attention from people, other than my #Padrone. I have an inherent need to make him happy, to cook, to clean, to massage, to do his laundry, to feed him, and to do many other things for him. It makes me very happy and content in a part of my soul I can't even explain to myself.
You have to find that one person that makes you just absolutely want to give your entire persona over to. To share every thought, dream, desire, past, present and future, with. And all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. You crave to stay with that person, not because of what they can give you monetarily, but for the feelings they give you. Sure, you want to know you are taken care of, and I am in every way.
I will say that being a slave is not something I wanted to be, it is just what I am naturally. It took the right #Master to bring it out in me to the extent that it is and there is no better feeling I have ever experienced.
Why would I choose the path I am on and the type of relationship I have?
Life, choices, and having the courage to change have paved the path I have walked. Fate and a huge amount of luck, brought me and Padrone together since we lived half a world apart. I have always believed that the man is the head of the household and that the woman should be submissive to her man. Now, I don't believe this to be true for everyone. Most women today do their own thing. They have their own beliefs, they work, own their own homes, and raise kids by themselves. I simply am not wired that way. My own mom is a strong woman and definitely does not have the same beliefs I do. Why am I so 'old fashioned' in my beliefs? I have no idea. You might chalk it up to being how my brain is wired, the type of person I am, or how my very nature is. I have no idea. It just is the way I believe and live.
I was introduced to the world of #BDSM and concepts of D/s over 20 years ago. I was a very impressionable young adult, still a teenager by actual age, but the age of consent. After that, I was just drawn to D/s as a lifestyle. I finally realized the ultimate relationship I had always dreamed of in being blessed with a Master that fits my submissive perfectly.
How can I allow a man to make all my decisions and put so many restrictive rules in place over me?
The first thing I need to emphasize is that yes, it is my decision to give up all control. I make that decision every time I follow a rule, guideline, perform a task, or ask Padrone to make a decision about something that concerns me. But, for me, the more rules I have, the more restrictive Padrone is and the more decisions he makes for me, gives me a feeling of freedom, safety, protection, absolute trust and unconditional love. I know that he would never put a rule in place to aggravate or harm me, or because he had a fit of jealousy. The rules I have were put in place because of many factors, most having to do with my epilepsy and the affects it has on my life.
The results of our relationship, having such trust, care and rules have actually made my epilepsy much better. I have less seizures and symptoms. I have more up time and good feelings. I am almost in a perpetual state of happiness because I am so lucky to have been chosen by Padrone to be his.
I can't say that we have not had our ups and downs, because of course, we have. But I can tell you that over the past 16 months, we have grown closer together and I have bloomed and feel freer now than I ever have in my life.